I wish there was a way to send a letter to your past self.  Some might think it’s silly, but it would be nice to let yourself know that everything is going to work out, that even though life may not turn out the way you’d expected it’s still going to be pretty amazing.  And even though I can’t actually do that, I’m going to write to my past self for everyone to see in hopes that it will be an encouragement to each of you who are trying to figure out life, to each of you who are waiting on Mr. Right to walk through the door, to each of you who are waiting on life to begin when the right guy comes into your life.

Dear Past Sabrina,

If you’re reading this while you’re in college, you’re soaking up all that you can while at Clemson.  Not every day is easy – what with classes, learning to live with roommates, learning how to follow Christ and serve others well.  But you’re growing.  You’re being molded right now and some days it’s down right painful.  Those tears from the argument you had with your friend?  They’re from frustration because you don’t know how to react to what she’s just said to you.  And what you can’t see right now is that she was telling you those things because she LOVES you and wants to see you grow.  That boy from your engineering class that you like?  He might be fun and smart and cute, but the reason he’s not paying you much attention is because he’s not the one God has for you.  So for now, just focus on your studies, focus on your ministry in FCA, focus on what it means to study your Bible and apply it to your life.  Focus on the things that will have lasting value and let the things that don’t really matter – like how neatly your roommates put away the tupperware in the cabinet – fall to the wayside.  You will eventually learn all of these things but I wish I could somehow get you to learn these lessons quickly so you don’t have to learn them over and over again.  But, it’s those repeat lessons that really seem to make things stick.  So, I know you have to go through them.

If you’re reading this after your friends have graduated, you’re about to start your fifth year of college.  And even in this crazy unsettled and uncertain time, you’re going to grow more than you thought possible.  Your friendships will grow deeper.  Even though most of your girls have graduated and are working, you’re going to begin to see the real value of who those women are.  You’ll have a job that you will love/hate but that job is going to begin teaching you how to balance work and life.  You’re going to learn how to work when it’s time to work and once you’ve left… once those sliding glass doors have closed behind you, you’re going to learn that work is over and it’s time to focus on other things.  At this point, you’re going to begin to see that everyone’s story is different.  Some friends are getting married.  Some friends are moving away.  Some friends are starting grad school.  Some friends, like you, are just trying to finish their bachelor’s degree.  But you know what?  That’s OK!  It’s ok that you haven’t had a date in a long time.  It’s ok that you don’t have a degree yet.  And it’s even ok that you have NO idea what you’re going to do once you do have that diploma in hand… because all of this is being used to mold you and shape you and prepare you for what’s to come.  It’s preparing you to trust your Creator, the One who loves you more than you can even imagine.

If you’re reading this while you’re living in Belgium, then you’ve just been ripped out of any kind of comfort zone you’ve ever built.  You’re in a country you’ve never set foot in before with a roommate you only met a few days prior to departure and working with a family that you had never laid eyes on.  But oh what joy you’re going to gain from this!  This family and this friend are going to become family to you.  They’re going to pray for you, laugh with you (and sometimes at you), teach you more about Christ, teach you what it’s like to live and serve in a country not your own, but how to embrace it and keep a piece of it tucked inside your heart.  They’re going to help you learn how to trust God with things as minor as the small details.  You remember when you were in college and had no idea what you were going to do after graduation?  They’re helping you see that God is right there with you, walking beside you, carrying you when you need it, and moving ahead of you to work out the details so you don’t have to worry about them.  This time in Belgium is SO short, but it’s SO full because it is what begins to move you towards ministry and loving those around you no matter where they come from or what their story is.  This time in Belgium helps you see just how big and small the world is and will help you keep perspective when things begin to overwhelm you.

If you’re reading this the summer after you returned home… you’ve found yourself in the most dry of spiritual deserts.  And all I can tell you is to KEEP trusting.  God is there.  Even if you can’t seem to see, hear, or feel Him.

If you’re reading this as you’re working and just beginning to dive into photography, realize that you’re on the right track!!  I know that you’re headed towards your late 20s and you are just beginning to gain the clarity that your passion lies in photography.  I also know that you’re tired of being single.  You’re traveling the world, you’re meeting new friends in new cultures, you’re still growing in your faith… but you want someone to come home to.  You want someone to laugh with you when you trip up the stairs.  You want someone to take care of those crazy huge spiders that keep invading the house.  You want someone to go to church with every week.  But the truth is, it’s not time for that.  Remember how you were learning that everyone has a different story?  Right now your story is about serving in ways that you won’t be able to when you have a family.  Right now, you can give your life away in ways that those who are married and have a family aren’t able to.  Right now, you can leave the house at the drop of a hat to meet one of your high school girls for ice cream because she needs to talk.  Right now, you can sit at the hospital for hours on end  in the middle of the night with a friend while her daughter is in ICU after major surgery.  Right now, you can be at church for as long as they need you to help with as much as you can.  Right now, you feel like all you’re doing is waiting on your husband to show up, but please don’t waste that time!  While you’re waiting, serve.  While you’re waiting, reach out to others around you.  While you’re waiting, do as many bible studies as your brain can handle.  While you’re waiting, get on as many planes as possible because one flight is lots cheaper than two will ever be!

If you’re reading this while you’re dating this new guy… all I can tell you is to keep waiting.  I know it’s difficult, I know you want to know where it’s headed, but just wait.  Keep reading Psalm 27:14 on your mirror every morning.  God is not only working in you right now, but He’s teaching this man how to lead.  God is helping this man learn how to reject passivity, how to protect and to provide for a wife one day.  And what you need to know right now is that if God decided to end this relationship, which He almost does, then you’re going to be ok.  You crave this relationship because you were created to be IN relationship.  But the most important one you have is with Christ.  So just keep focusing on him and what he says in scripture.  Lots of life is about waiting and God has shown you that so many times!  But every time, He’s shown you that His plans have been worth the wait.

If you’re reading this as you’re just starting as a full-time photographer, you’ve achieved your goal and seen a dream come true!  But even in this, there will be waiting.  And I want to remind you that even this part of your story isn’t going to look like other stories you’ll see.  All I ask is that you remember everything God has done, remember that He’s always provided for you, remember that you wouldn’t trade any part of this life for anything else.  Because all of the ups and downs and in-betweens have molded and shaped you into who you are, into the friend you are, into the wife you are.  There’s always going to be growth that needs to happen, but just take a minute and see how far you’ve come.  See all that you’ve overcome.  And look into the future with joy and excitement because if it’s anything like your past has been, every moment, every tear, every jump for joy is going to be worth it.

Lots of thanks for where you are now and how far you will come,
Your Future Self