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August 20, 2014

A Coffee Date Before the Wedding

Ben and I first met at a Starbucks… we’d been communicating on eHarmony’s site for a little while but after one email that I’d sent, I didn’t hear from him for a week.  Trying not to think too much about it was impossible, but I went back to my email anyway to see if maybe there had been something I’d said to scare him off.  Soon after though, he wrote me back saying he was sorry for not responding sooner and asked if I’d like to meet up for coffee.  So, we set a date and a time and met at Starbucks on Woodruff Rd where we talked until they closed and then talked for another 15 minutes before he asked for my phone number and we said goodbye :-)

As we started dating and our relationship became more serious, that Starbucks became “our Starbucks.”  And even now, each time I drive by it, I smile from the memories of that night… the uncertainty, the excitement, how I spilled my chai tea (not a latte!) on the table we were sitting at because it was too full…

But it actually became even more significant the day before our wedding.  It was a stressful week – with a million last minute things, family coming into town, running all over the place, etc. – and even though it wasn’t THAT long of a stretch, I saw Ben Wednesday night and wasn’t planning to see him again until the rehearsal Friday evening.  In the chaos of wedding week, that was a really long time.  So, as my maid of honor drove us to my bridal brunch Friday morning, she called Ben and asked if he would meet me at “our Starbucks” for a quick coffee date.  She knew and I knew that I just needed to see him.  To take a break.  To get a breath of fresh air.

And as we pulled up and I saw him sitting at our table, the tears flowed because I knew he was exactly what I needed in that moment!  And as soon as I got out of the car and hugged him, all was right with the world again.

FirstDateAtStarbucks

Wedding planning was not my thing and I was SO ready to get to November 5 back in 2011 so that we could just begin our life together.  But the truth is that the season of being engaged is SO unique and I tried really hard to just enjoy where we were at each moment.  I wasn’t always successful, but I tried!

And since it’s your relationship – not just your wedding day – that really makes your marriage, I’ve been encouraging our couples to have a date night sometime in the month before their wedding.  The only rule is that no wedding talk is allowed!  The idea isn’t an original of mine, but it falls perfectly in line with WHY we run this business the way we do.  We’re about love and marriages and relationships.  Ones that are willing to work at things when times get tough, because they WILL get tough.  And as simple as it is, having a chance to connect before the wedding about things completely unrelated to the wedding is one of the best things you can do for your marriage before you even say I Do.

Things get crazy when wedding week does arrive, but if you can manage it, I also highly recommend a coffee (or ice cream!) date the day before you walk down the aisle.  Just the two of you.  Alone.  Connecting. Remembering why you’re about to say I Do.  Flirting and googly eyes are welcomed!

  1. Awesome Idea of Coffee date before wending or first date for relationship.

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